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June 19, 2002

Run for the shelter of your love.

Is your instinct to run for the shelter of your love when the one you love destroyed your only love.

I ran to him so many times and he wasn't there.

And he doesn't even know it.

Anyway, it doesn't matter.

He would say I was the one who destroyed it.

He liked to say I talked a good game. And yet it was he who talked the good game.

He insisted on pure and total honesty from me. And I gave it. Freely. But did he give me pure and total honesty? He did not.

It's not for me to convince you. You would have to see the evidence for yourself.

He made his way into the best and brightest parts of my life and every dark and dirty corner of it, too. And I let him. Willingly and happily. And he selectively related to me only those parts of his life that he wanted me to know. He kept me at arm's length from him.

And still I find myself wanting to run to him. But he's not there. He never really was.

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L.M. Carnes 2002.

All content herein owned by L.M. Carnes unless otherwise noted.