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Saturday, January 11, 2003

A day like today

It's a Saturday afternoon. The bright orange sun is low in the sky. It's bitter cold outside. She makes the exit off the highway. She has no recollection of driving the exit ramp. There are two gas stations with a little road in between. She makes the lefthand turn.

She has a feeling inside that can only be described as a combination of anticipation - something like the cat must feel when he knows the canary is just around the corner.

Just before the end of the cul-de-sac, she makes the right hand turn. She pulls the car over to the right and parks. As she opens the door and puts her feet on the ground, she notices her knees are shaky for a brief moment. Paying for the room is a bearly tolerable experience. But, she does it gladly and without hesitation.

Now the feeling of anticipation is much higher. She's accustomed to the feeling. She embraces it.

She gets back in the car and drives to the back of the building. She make a conscious effort to park the car in such a way that he'll know which door to go to. As she puts the key in the door, her hand is shaking. Finally, the lock gives. She opens the door and turn on the lights. After a quick and much needed trip to the bathroom, she throws her purse on the bed.

She's giddy with nervousness. She takes three deep breaths in a futile attempt to calm down.

She goes back to the car and grabs her overnight bag and her drink. As she locks the doors to the car, she looks north across a field of black dirt. In a few months the first signs of a new crop will begin to show. Her eyes travel to an Amtrak train traveling north. Off to the left she can see the road he'll use travel to this place. It's growing dark. She enters the room and locks both locks.

A sense of calmness enfolds her as the realization that he'll soon be here hits her. The sense of calmness turns to belonging because she knows in her heart and in every cell in her body that they belong together. When you belong with someone, nothing can go wrong.

She lights a candle and waits.

Posted by Marie at January 11, 2003 6:24 PM