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Wednesday, December 31, 2003

The year in recycled records

Iím back and in for the night. Youíre still here? Oh, okay. Well, in that case hereís a list for ya. Originally, I was going to refrain from posting any end of the year type lists. But, I thought this one might be particularly ... um ... irritating to top off a year of lawsuits and subpoenas from the recording industry. We can only guess how much money somebody made off those old records selling them for use in television commercials. Some of these are the original lyrics as sung by the original recording artists. Others are not. Here are a few Iíve heard in the last month or so in no particular order:

  • Itís a Beautiful Morning sung by the Rascals in an ad for Vioxx. I donít know what Vioxx does, but itís another drug with a major marketing campaign.
  • Foreignerís Feels Like the First Time for Folgers Aroma Seal. Because, with the new aroma seal, every time you open the can is like the first time.
  • Just this week I noticed OfficeMax has now adopted Rubberband Man by the Spinners as its new theme song. This one is definitely an attention grabber. The star of this little production is Eddie Steeples playing the role of Keenan, the hipster mail room guy, with a 70's 'fro parted just right for the 21st century. Keenan grooves throughout the office to the tune of Rubberband Man, pushing his chrome cart, delivering OfficeMax office supplies to his oblivious co-workers. As a purchaser of office supplies, I can unequivocally declare that whoever did this, knew what they were doing. I might have to start shopping at OfficeMax now.
  • What I Like About You for Fridayís Double Glazed Ribs. Because they know how to dance or maybe theyíll keep you warm at night or something.
  • The Ghostbusters theme song for OíBrienís, a local chain of auto dealerships. Who ya gonna call? Well, you get the picture.
  • Edgar Winter Groupís Free Ride for the Capitalone credit card. Come on and take a free ride. Well, yeah!
  • Whip It by Devo for the Swiffer. Except, instead of singing ďwhip itĒ the Devo sound-a-likes (I think theyíre sound-a-likes, anyway) are singing ďSwif-fer.Ē Side note: I have a recurring dream where I operate an industrial janitorial service armed only with a Swiffer.
  • This one is something. This one is really something. Energizer has taken one of the top sex songs of the last century, Letís Get It On, by Marvin Gaye, as the soundtrack for its Energizer Max commercial. Picture a bunch of middle school band kids on a school bus. The batteries in one cute girlís CD player have worn out. The tuba player (a not so hunky looking boy, but hey, you know those tuba players) timidly sits down next to her while Marvin is moaning his song in the background. Apparently, heís got just what she needs. And then the Energizer bunny erects itself under the skin of the CD player. Obviously, this is symbolic of ... I canít even say it. (I tried to resist doing my church lady routine on this one. Sorry.)
  • This one had to cost some bucks. At least, I hope it did. (Got to Admit) Itís Getting Better by the Beatles for the Phillips DVD player.
  • Get Together by the Youngbloods for Red Lobster. ďCome on people now. Smile on your brother. Everybody get together. Try to love one another. Right now.Ē I donít get it, but hey, what do I know.
  • I previously discussed the Kohlís commercial starring Captain & Tenille singing Love Will Keep Us Together.
  • I Hear You Knocking (but you canít come in) made famous by Dave Edmunds (but somebody else probably wrote it) pitching an Olympus camera. Sorry, but any Dave Edmunds song is just a little to sacred to be used to mass market any product.
  • Finally, the following is dedicated to my beautiful daughters who spent much of their formative years in the backseat of my car listening to all those golden oldies radio stations: Do the Cool Jerk by I donít know who, reworded as ďDo the Cool WhipĒ for none other than, yep, you guessed it, Cool Whip.

By the way, I hope I donít sound like Iím complaining too much. Iím just observing and commenting.

All trademarks and copyrights are property of their respective owners.

Edit: Oops! I almost forgot. Thanks to Jim Kirk (who I still say looks like Captain Jim Kirk) of the Tribune for the lowdown on the OfficeMax ad.

Posted by Marie at December 31, 2003 10:18 PM


Happy New Year!!

Posted by: Doc at January 1, 2004 10:39 AM

Oh, and I know you read my site via RSS now! Since the New Years post didn't show up on the site until 00:00:03 and your comment came at 11:21!

Stupid Future Post!


Posted by: Doc at January 1, 2004 10:41 AM


Posted by: nelly furtado at February 5, 2004 3:54 PM

hey kewl webpage...how do i get one..its free right? if not w/e screw it then...uhh email me or sumthing.

Posted by: roxy at October 12, 2004 7:04 PM