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Friday, February 25, 2005

Coming home

I could have been writing about this every day since before Christmas. I should have. Had I known then what I know now, I would have. But, I thought it best to keep it private. Also, as each day dragged on, I had no idea things would get like this. I always had faith. I had trust. Trust in physicians, hospitals, the healthcare system. The need for privacy has been overtaken by something else which I can't quite put a name to at this point. Perhaps its name is "emotion." As for faith and trust? Well, it's like they never even existed.

My mom has been in the hospital since the Monday before Christmas.

In anticipation of her discharge in a few days, following is part of a conversation I had with the hospital social worker today:

Social Worker: Does your mom have a wheelchair, a walker, a raised toilet seat, or a bedside commode?

Me: Have you read my mom's chart?

SW: Yes.

Me: My mom has none of those things. Before we brought our mom to your hospital on December 20th, she was on the go from 10:00 a.m. to 9:00 p.m. almost every day doing things like shopping, visiting friends, going out to eat, taking classes, playing bridge, playing pinocle, and driving her own car for all of those things.

SW: Haha. She probably had a busier life that you.

Me: This is serious.

SW: It's harder for people when their parent has a sudden change instead of watching their parent deteriorate slowly.

Me: What are you talking about? When she came out of surgery, the doctor said it went better than he could have hoped for, and she would be back to her old self and home by Christmas. It's now almost March 1st and she's just now coming home and her life will never be the same. How did we get to this point?

Posted by Marie at February 25, 2005 1:15 PM


Hoping she gets better...

Posted by: jenett at February 25, 2005 3:32 PM

Boy, Marie, this sounds very, very tough. We've been going through some of this stuff the last couple years in my family. My mom passed away very suddenly about a year and a half ago, and my dad -- now in his early 80s -- has been trying to cope with that and a bunch of other changed circumstances (in fact, all of Mom's brothers, who were all pretty close to Dad, also died in the last three or four years).

Anyway -- I know I don't know anything that will be of much comfort. I hope you have other family there to help deal with things. Take care.

Posted by: Dan at March 6, 2005 11:10 PM

I send my sincere sympathy your way. Don't allow the system (or certain parts ie. social worker) add fuel to your fire of anger. Some people know not what they do. There are people out here who understand your devastaion.

Know this: There is a reason for this experience you are having to endure. I like to think of us as sculptures. Every day God perfects his masterpiece (I hope my religious spin on this doesn't offend you...just my opinion anyway).

Your mother's state affects the whole world (by domino effect) since we are essentially all connected on a subatomic level.

So, don't fret. There is a reason for this, seemlingly needless, trail you are induring. I know that you have heard this type of comment before. Goodness knows, we all have. I know I usually just smile, say thanks, and think, "yeah easy for you to say. How does that help me, though?" But, I really do believe you will come out of this painful event that much closer to "perfection". And I do believe that you were suppose to here somebody say it again. Or maybe, I am long-winded. :)

Posted by: orcagirl at April 8, 2005 2:03 PM