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Friday, July 22, 2005

Tough guy

The Friday beer blogging edition of tough guy, Part 1.

Scene at the gas station Friday morning on the way to work.

Meet tough guy. Cigarette hanging out the corner of his mouth. Sunglasses. Plain white T-shirt. Well worn jeans. Very cool as tough guys go.

Buys a 40 ounce. Ah, good. Our tough guy likes big beer for breakfast. Because, what kind of fool would our tough guy be if he didn't start his weekend drunk Friday morning at the crack of dawn.

(We're just slightly disgusted by tough guy.)

Once outside, tough guy tosses the requisite paper bag in the trash receptacle. (Tough guy just bought himself an ounce of respect for not littering.) Gets on his motorcycle. Checks his hair in the side mirror. Our tough guy is so tough, he can hardly stand himself.

Suddenly, a barely detectible wave of panic washes across his face (or maybe it's our face) when tough guy realizes there's no place to hold his beer. What will tough guy do, we wonder. Will he guzzle 40 ounces of beer right there at the pump. Or, will he transform himself into a crying little girl when he has to pour it down the gutter.

(We're holding our breath in anticipation.)

But it's only a brief wave of panic. Our tough guy is resourceful. He lifts up his T-shirt, tugs forward the waist if his jeans, sucks in his stomach, and ever so gently slides the bottle down the front of his Levis. Tough guy smooths his T-shirt down over that bulge.

(We're falling in love with tough guy.)

He gives only a little wince at the chill. Sits up straight. Full throttles the bike. Guns it. Obviously overcomes the desire to pop a wheely. And, off goes tough guy.

(We're so proud of tough guy, we can't help but shed a little tear at his departure. We miss him so.)

Dedicated to the Eleventh Hour. Void where prohibited. Some restrictions may apply.

Posted by Marie at July 22, 2005 10:45 AM


Wow, Tough Guy got a fowdee and a chilly willie. A long straw running down his shirt and he'd been set.

Truly the dark side of beer blogging.

Posted by: Dave at July 22, 2005 1:21 PM

Will the Adventures of Tough Guy become a weekly feature on Disarranging Mine? You should consider writing a graphic novel. You seem to have a good writing style for that genre.

Posted by: Dan at July 26, 2005 8:19 PM