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Thursday, October 20, 2005

USA Today wants me

The mailman brought a large white envelope, about 9 by 12. In the upper right hand column of the envelope was the USA Today logo. My first thought was, more junk mail.

As I started to throw it in the trash without opening it, I glanced at the postage. It was 87 cents. Eighty-seven cents! Whoa! Why would USA Today spend first class postage on junk mail, I wondered.

My mind began to leap. They've seen my blog. They recognized my writing ability. They must want me to write an article for them. A series of articles, perhaps. Or, maybe, they want me to blog for them. A daily blog column. Oh my God, they're going to make a large cash offer to buy my blog!

Fingers shaking, I ripped open the envelope. My heart was pounding. My breath caught in my throat. My vision started to narrow. The room grows dark. I'm blacking out. I'm going to faint. Sit down. Take a deep breath. Relax.

I pulled the letter out in a wrinkled mass. White paper. Letterhead. Three paragraphs all blurred gray on the paper. I'm going blind. Focusing, my eyes go directly to the signature line. It's from the publisher. Yes.

Finally, I've calmed down enough to read the letter. And, as I first suspected, it's just more junk mail in the form of an advertisement for one of their advertisers.

Well, that's okay. The way I see it, they've opened the door to negotiations. I mean, they certainly can't expect all their time, effort and money to go to waste.

Dear Mr. Gabrielson:

Thank you for your recent letter. No doubt you've seen my blog....

Posted by Marie at October 20, 2005 8:55 PM


Indeed, it was a test to see if you were really interested. They have their answer. Await their best and final offer.

Posted by: Dave at October 20, 2005 9:19 PM

Publishers who've seen my blog are always sending me invitations to write for their paper. Those solicitations are so tiresome.

Posted by: Kem White at October 21, 2005 9:15 AM